Consequences
by andalways
Summary: Actions and consequences,. In which Draco has too many problems and Harry Potter is one of them. Angstyish, warnings for graphic violence and language and MPREG. Yes, please run away now if you're squemish. HPDM.
1. Prologue

_Disclaimer; you figure it out_

_AU; WARNING, this is MPREG. Back AWAY now, don't say I never warned you. Fight scenes with violence and graphic language as well. Also, please feel free not to read after the first chapter or prologue. Different people have different tastes. Criticise my writing and capability for detail. Enjoy. _

**Prologue**

Draco sat there, in the room of hidden things, in front of the cabinet, staring at his scuffed once glossy shoes. One hand on his stomach, another on the cabinet, his body shook. His whole world swayed, back and forth. Dizziness overwhelmed him and he emptied the contents of his stomach onto the floor.

Disgusted with himself he quickly cast a cleaning spell. Once the vomit was gone he cast a cleaning spell on himself and conjured a glass of water.

Cleansing his mouth made him feel better but the feeling in his stomach never ceased.

"Fuck," he swore.

He was definitely fucking pregnant.


	2. Fighting back

**Chapter I**

Draco slammed his fists into the wall repeatedly.

_How could I have been so bloody stupid. _

He screamed and collapsed against the wall.

_Squeak _

A sound from behind him.

"Ferrety Death Eater Malfoy, Well what have we here? Can't handle being so ferre-AUGH-

Draco didn't take in the face.

His anger overrode everything else. He slammed his body into the Ravenclaw whom he didn't even recognize. Pressing him to the ground Draco's fist found purchase in the other student's face knocking him out. Someone burly tried to pull him off his friend only to get leapt at as well. Draco pulled the boy's legs out from under him and slammed the heel of his palm into the unsuspecting victim's chin thrusting his head backwards. There was a crack as head met ground.

Two more boys tried to contain the uncontrollable Slytherin by putting their hands on his shoulders. Draco rotated his shoulder backwards while bearing his arm against one of their arms causing the boy to fall to his knees. While the other was stunned Draco twisted the last one's wrist and launched him at the already kneeling boy.

Panting he stood amongst the fallen boys.

"Fuuuuuuck….." He rasped.

Picking up his wand he wiped blood from his face and started casting healing spells. Luckily, he was quite the healer, another secret he kept well. He fixed up the internal bruising he caused to the first boy and stopped the bleeding and cast a precautionary concussion checking spell on the second.

He had to flex the third's arm properly as he cast spells to heal the small fractures caused there. The last one had just fainted so Draco cast another precautionary concussion spell.

Laying them next to each other he left without looking back blood still covering his face and shirt. He made his way back to the Slytherin dorms without meeting another person on the way. He was grateful he didn't bump into anyone else. He wouldn't be able to handle it.

Once in the safety of his room he pulled off all his clothes. Grabbing a towel he headed to the showers. Shakingly now he fiddled to twist the shower on. Sprays of warm water hit his skin like rain to the ground. Slowly it became hotter burning his skin slightly.

He didn't care.

Slowly, his body stopped shaking. His hands were calm against the cool tile of the wall in contrast with the slowly cooling water. His body became less rigid as his muscles melted under the spray.

Slowly, the tears welled up behind his closed eyelids, tears of fear, tears of anger, tears of frustration.

How many times would he have to prove that he was no coward? How many times would he have to prove he could do something? How many times would he have to be the reason someone died? How many times would people yell at him, when he could not tell them the reason? How many excuses would he have to go through?

"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck,"

"SHIT,"

He sucked in a harsh water breath. Rubbing his eyes he conjured soap and began to wash, determined to get rid of all his filth. No matter how hard he tried to scrub at that filthy mark prickling under his skin, it remained there. A reminder, of what happened.

He never wanted to cause another death, ever.

Dragging himself from the shower he made his way to the bed. Plopping himself down he stared across at the blank wall. Maybe he would go to the library for a while today. At least there were windows.

_Clink_

Draco's head swivelled around. The sound had come from his desk.

"Draco?"

He leapt off the bed and clambered to the desk. Reaching into one of the drawers he lifted the secret compartment out and retrieved the carefully wrapped flat object inside it.

The two way mirror. The one his mother had given him in his fourth year for emergencies. Unwrapping it with shaky hands, he stared into it. Slowly his mother's blonde hair came into view. His heart raced when her face became clearer.

"Mother?"


	3. Hope

**Chapter II**

"Draco dear,"

Draco's whole body shook with sheer relief.

"Are you safe? Mother, where are you? How did you even- Is _Clara_ with you?"

"We're both fine. We're currently at your Aunt Andromeda's. Thank Merlin she took us in, I suppose my appearance and crazed demeanour may have pushed that one along… dear…. I just wanted to tell you that we are both fine and safe. I've made sure early that this mirror line is safe and I am sure you have ample security around your room. I made sure Albus took care of that after your father was put away,"

Draco was speechless. Narcissa took no notice.

"On to more pressing matters, you can decide what you want to do from now on but Draco, I advise you to follow your heart from now on because your head is just a little too muddled up at the moment. I know, I am your mother. I trust you to make good decisions on your own now that you aren't tied down by worries and monsters with barbaric fashion senses,"

"Yes mother,"

"Now, even though we can communicate through the mirror I advise you to only contact me when absolutely necessary. We still do not know how safe the connection is. There is no way to be certain that there is no one listening in and whether we have been compromised. Your father knows I am safe, I cannot tell you how but I know that he does, do not worry yourself,"

"Mother, I love you," Draco said fondly, happy just listening to his mother prattle on.

"I love you too dear and we miss you very much. Clara wishes you were here. Be safe, please, you are my dragon, fierce and strong, I know you are. Please don't hide anymore dragon,"

"Thank you mother, be safe,"

"Goodnight Dragon,"

Slowly her smiling face dissolved into blackness. Draco couldn't be sure whether the water sliding down his face was from his hair or tears. Wrapping the mirror with a gentleness that could tame a roaring dragon, he placed it back into the hidden compartment of his drawer.

He had never heard his mother so happy. She never usually said that much in three breaths. Her cheeks had been red from excitement and her face a glow with life. He was grateful for that.

This gift bestowed upon him pushed his crushing defeat from before out of his mind. With determination he wiped himself dry and pulled a pair of trousers and a t-shirt. Casting a hair drying spell he grabbed his wand and set himself to work.

There was time.

There was time and hope.

He would not give up now that the fates had given him chance.

* * *

Dumbledore was in his office when Draco entered.

"I need your help," the blonde implored politely. It was a soft request that Draco was unsure whether the aged Headmaster had heard it or not.

"I was waiting for you young Malfoy,"

Draco looked up then at him. "Why do you always wait?"

Dumbledore only smiled. Stroking his phoenix gently the older wizard dimmed the lights in the room.

"Have a seat Mr Malfoy. We have long needed to talk,"

"Thank you but I would rather remain standing. Your presence still has me wary and I do not trust myself under any circumstances at the moment,"

"Very wise words, but you need not fear me anymore than you would fear any other person,"

"I fear everyone right now," Draco admitted softly.

"That fear I can understand is warranted by the condition you are in,"

"My mother is safe. Safe as she can be at the moment, I worry only for myself right now,"

"Then what is it you fear?"

"I am pregnant,"

"How rare Mr. Malfoy. And you know this for sure?"

"Yes, it is unbelievable but considering who the father is I suppose it would be understandable,"

"May I ask who?"

"No. He doesn't want any part of this, I am sure,"

Dumbledore seemed to contemplate the matter.

"But you wish that he would,"

Draco flinched.

"I don't want him involved. At all. I will not burden someone else with something they do not want, even if…" Draco broke off unable to say the words.

"Even if you love him," the headmaster finished softly.

Draco stared into the older man's eyes then, finding a sliver of understanding.

"What is it you wish to do Mr. Malfoy," Dumbledore asked.

"Protection, for me and the child, I mean to keep it. In exchange I will give my services as a spy. The Dark Lord… he… _likes _me," Draco shivered in disgust; he hated to be reminded of that fact.

"Draco," the headmaster dropped the formality; he could not let the boy go into something as dangerous as being a spy "There is no need for you to do that, I am willing to offer you protection without anything in-

Draco cut him off with a hand, dismissing the notion altogether. "I am not a charity case. I don't want to be that any longer. I know many valuable things and I know things others don't know. I know things Severus doesn't,"

"I will not be looked down upon by the morally upright any longer. I'm only doing this to get into good books; I will not have my child ostracized later on when we win the war,"

Dumbledore's face was impassive. "Nothing will change your mind?"

Draco shook his head.

"Those are my terms. I will remain unknown to everyone except a few I agree to,"

"As you wish" After some thought Dumbledore added "Would you prefer your own room Mr. Malfoy? Our head boy seems to have left his; what with his leaving of the school,"

Draco blinked and looked surprised.

"That's too much,"

"No, not at all, considering I've just given Hermione Granger the Head girl position,"

Draco stood there numbly.

Dumbledore smiled.

* * *

Draco touched the heavy dark blue curtains. Raphael Rolfstien had been a Ravenclaw and had liked blue, a lot. Draco didn't mind. The décor was neat and tasteful, notably muggle. A simple mahogany bed with white sheets and a blue throw. The walls were typical Hogwarts but in blue and white, china like. What Draco liked the most were the paintings. It seemed that the Ravenclaw had left almost everything in the room that wasn't of much importance.

The three paintings on the left of the room surrounding the window were long landscapes, the different seasons of the outside scenery. Opposite them on the right wall were several paintings of flowers and people.

A girl with long dark hair entwined with an orange Lily. A young boy with the brightest red hair holding a vibrant Poppy. An older woman, still beautiful, with a gentle silver rose. Those three first caught Draco's attention, but when he moved closer he noticed a smaller painting of a blonde haired boy matched with a very larger sunflower. The boy was curled gently around the stalk of the sunflower as it spanned above him.

The boy, now that Draco saw closer, was him.

He flinched back.

Why the hell was Raphael, whom he had only ever seen in passing, painting a portrait of him?

Draco made a mental note to check up on Rolfstein. He kept the portrait in his stash of secret things, lest anyone ask questions.

His thoughts began to wander back to his main problem.

Pregnant.

Never in his life would he have expected that. Male pregnancy in wizards was a known possibility but it was only possible in three situations; induced by a Healer, induced by extremely powerful magic in either father, or through soul bonding true love. Draco snorted at the last one. It had to be the second option.

Considering the Father was Harry Fucking Potter.

Draco slid his hands over his face. It had been his own mistake, to allow a very drunk Potter to lead him, seduce him, drag him down upon a bed laid ready by the room of requirements and take him. He just meant it as a jest. He didn't mean for it to go so far.

It had been his own mistake to realize he loved the stupid Gryffindor.

Years of picking on the Chosen Boy, pushing him around, making the pure little Golden boy hate him, all of that, wasted. His little boy crush had not gone away. It had simply been buried beneath tons of denial and refusal to believe.

He still loved him, Harry Potter, even now, after everything he'd done to Draco.

"_This was nothing. Oh Merlin, this was a mistake. This means nothing, nothing, just a stupid mistake. Never meant anything." _

Draco shook his head.

He need not bother remember the way Harry's shoulders had been bowed, how they had quivered. Nor the way his face had twisted something ugly as his fist slammed into Draco's face. He only need know that with everything done, his love is definitely one sided. Very one sided.

_Thank Merlin men can't get pregnant. _

Draco laughed bitterly.

_Everything is your fucking fault._

He hated fucking love.


	4. Internal

**SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY. Have fun. **

**Chapter III**

_Two months earlier…_

"For godsake Harry, calm down," Hermione said exasperatedly "You're going to wear the carpet out,"

"I… oh god Hermione… I… don't… What the hell did I do…." Harry moaned helplessly.

"Harry. You slept with a boy. You had sex. Really, I don't very well see the problem here,"

"The problem is that I'm not GAY!" he cried angrily.

Hermione frowned at her friend. "I didn't say you were,"

"I like girls. I should only like girls. I'm meant to like only girls. Liking guys is just wrong, it's wrong," He babbled.

Hermione reached out to the trembling boy.

"Harry, who told you that?"

"No one told me, I know it, from what I hear, from what I see," he shouted stubbornly.

"Harry, there is nothing wrong with liking guys, really there isn't. Who you love is who you love. Unless you're hurting the other person, I don't see why it should be wrong," She said calmly stroking his back.

Harry flinched away from her.

"NO, you're supposed to be telling me how to stop this! You of all people should be on my side,"

He leapt up and away from her.

"You're on their side! What is wrong with you!" he screamed at her.

Harry fled the room leaving Hermione gaping where she stood. She flopped back into her chair, flabbergasted. She sat there at a loss for words, people passing her without notice.

Ron walked into the common room then seeing Hermione.

"Mione?" he stared at her awed face "What's wrong?"

She looked up at him. It took her a few minutes to recover but finally she managed to find her voice.

"Ron, what is your opinion on gay men?" she asked eventually.

Ron was thrown off balance slightly by the question but straightened up and looked thoughtful. "Well, I don't know, I suppose I don't really care about a person's sexuality, most in the wizarding world don't, because there is no religion issue and pregnancy is not a problem. It's never been a big deal. I suppose it's one of the more easy going sides of the wizarding world. I mean, there are a few who are completely prejudiced, but they tend to be muggleborn or come from muggle backgrounds. The only difference it makes is if I were to talk to the guy, it wouldn't be about lady parts,"

Hermione nodded in understanding.

"Why are we talking about this?" He added at the end, scratching his head.

"Harry's in denial,"

"Woah, okay, were you supposed to tell me that?" he asked pulling up a chair next to her. She rested her hand on his. "I need to brainstorm. I'm a bit lost for ideas right now,"

"Tell me what happened," he said.

* * *

Harry stormed down the hallways a few days later, absolutely furious at his friends. They had been no help in correcting his problem; they only seemed bent on making it worse.

He shoved a few students aside, taking no care about anyone around him, when suddenly his eye caught blonde.

"Malfoy," he murmured to himself. The blonde boy sat alone under a window in the corridor. His hair was pulled back into a short ponytail, a few strands escaping, brushing his face. His eyes were staring out the window, wistfully, softening the sharpness of his face. Drool threatened to dribble from Harry's lips. Catching himself in time, he cursed the blonde for being exactly his type. Malfoy was the reason he had fallen into the hands of a random blonde just days before.

Anger boiled beneath his skin.

Malfoy would just have to look less attractive.

* * *

_Two months later… _

Ron clambered down the stairs after Hermione.

"This is the absolute last straw Ronald. It's been two bloody months of non-stop terrorizing Malfoy," she practically growled.

"Mion-

"I mean even I dislike the git, I punched him before, but this attitude is beyond me. This is just not Harry," She barrelled on, not hearing Ron. He huffed at being ignored and clenched his fist. He over stepped her hurried pace and placed himself firmly in front of her.

"MIONE,"

She halted, almost falling in shock.

"You walked past the Hospital Wing," He pointed out bluntly.

Her face coloured and she frowned. "This. Is. How. Mad. I. Am," she said through her grit teeth before spinning around and storming her way back to the Hospital wing. Ron followed after her with a sigh. The wind whistled in the empty hallways. The wing was empty except for two beds. Madam Pomfrey seemed to not be around. Upon closer inspection, Hermione and Ron were surprised to find that the bed next to Malfoy was occupied by none other than Neville.

"Neville?" "Nev?" They chorused when they saw him. He was unconscious thus there was no response. There was a response from Malfoy however who was sitting upright reading an advanced Arithmetic textbook. "Be quiet please, I'd rather he not be roused. He just got to sleep. I wish not to hear the continuous apology that will most likely spout from his mouth. Not that I don't appreciate it but it gets tedious after ten minutes," Malfoy drawled from behind the book. They both stared at the sullen figure before them. One eye was shadowed by faint bruising and his arm was bound by a magical cast that was used usually when a curse affected the bone regrowth. It absorbed the curse while the regrowth took place. When the bone had grown back the curse could be countered properly.

"If you're here to stare, or spout off your own apologies for your idiot Gryffindor I suggest you leave please, I've had enough of that," he said calmly when they still hadn't said anything.

"We aren't here to do that. He should bloody well do that himself," Ron huffed, indignant that he was there at all because of Harry.

"We're here to apologize for his behaviour as his friends and say that this is not normal. Harry's behaviour is irrational and very unlike him. I know you'd rather not believe that considering you always put him down and expect the worse from him, but Harry is a good person. He can't be in his right mind now especially not after today," Hermione continued.

Malfoy put down his book and looked at them squarely. He still said nothing.

"Look mate, I'm willing to admit you haven't been as bad as you normally are to us and it's me, our families hate each other. Your dad tried to kill my sister. But I wouldn't do what Harry's been doing lately," Ron continued awkwardly "We just came to tell you that we'll be getting involved is all and hope that you don't eventually snap and kill Harry, I know I would,"

Malfoy looked away from them and out the window.

"I never expected the worst of him. I just imagined him human. We all have our faults," Malfoy said softly "I appreciate your kindness, but do heed this warning. Before this I had no reason to fight. As of yesterday, I now do. Potter will not get a chance like this again; if he tries, the consequences will be dire. I do hope you cure him before that happens," he added in the same tone but with firmer conviction.

Hermione looked ready to say something but Ron stopped her. "Fair enough Malfoy," he said in return. Malfoy looked at them. There was a look Ron had seen before in the blonde's eyes, it was not one he wanted to see in anyone's eyes.

"What happened to Neville by the way, if I may ask?" Hermione asked, unfazed by Malfoy's haunted look. Malfoy's gaze reverted to the sullen one he had when they entered. He looked over at the bed next to him and grimaced.

"At least I know why Longbottom was put in Gryffindor. He saw Potter cast before it hit me and threw himself around me. Unfortunately the force of whatever Potter hit us with pushed both of us over the ledge of a staircase. He took most of the tumble down but I took the brunt of the curse," he waved his cast "Not only could I have died, Longbottom could have died. I hope your Potter knows that. I think enough people have died in this never ending war," Malfoy said the last with an air of spite.

"Thank you Malfoy," Hermione said a little stunned by Malfoy's care for Neville "You've changed" she added suspiciously.

As they exited the doors they heard Neville awaken.

"Was that Hermione I heard? Oh Malfoy, I'm so sorry about your eye," It was followed by a load groan. "Do not start, Longbottom,"

Ron stared at Hermione who looked back at him quizzically. How odd Malfoy was today, it all felt like a weird dream.

"How do we deal with Harry? There has to be something, a spell, a curse, a cursed object that's causing this odd behaviour. You don't think this has anything to do with his issue with liking blokes do you?" Ron asked as they reached the common room. Hermione hummed tunelessly. "I was thinking of that but how on earth does that connect to Malfoy? Harry said he had no idea who the boy was," Hermione replied. "Maybe in whatever memory Harry has of that night, the bloke looks like Malfoy?" Ron suggested. "It could be. But why this irrational anger? Harry's turning in to how he described Dudley is to him," she questioned. Ron shrugged. "I can't think of anything. Maybe Harry just needed a focus for his anger and Malfoy is an obvious target because he usually fights back," he suggested.

Hermione stared at Ron. "Sometimes I like being reminded that you are quite intelligent," she said with a smile.

"Oi! I'm always brilliant," he sputtered.

"Must I remind you of the Lav Lav incident," she reminded him.

"Merlin, no, please. Blimey that was idiotic," he said with a groan.

Suddenly the Fat Lady's painting swung open. Harry stood there - a surprised look on his face. He walked past them without a word. They watched their friend skulk into the darkness of the corridor.

"Come Ron, we should get to research. The Library is still open," Hermione said chirpily.

Ron groaned.

* * *

_**So, I'm very very sorry how long this took, but as I have now heard three times, "You are now under exam conditions" I am sitting for my A level exams and am bloody busy. I'm grateful my friend is Betaing this chapter though. I hope you enjoy. The next one should be up soon because I've already written it, it just needs to be checked. Thank you for sticking around if you did. **_


	5. Realization

**Chapter IV**

Harry sank into the water of the tub.

The prefect's bathroom password had been his the minute Ron had become a prefect. Hermione had made a face but for once, let it slide. Maybe she knew Harry would not abuse it and he hadn't used the bathroom until now. He had just needed it today. He didn't deserve it. He knew that. Not after today.

No one had noticed that his minor stinging hex had somehow gone parallel along with someone's very strong curse. The combined destructive nature of their spells had fused together creating something much worse than Harry's own intention. He hadn't really meant to hurt Malfoy. He hadn't had clarity of mind until his eyes caught the terror in Malfoy's as he careened over the edge of the staircase.

Those silvery eyes had looked directly at him and he knew in that moment he had crossed some line he never should have.

He had been walking around in an angry daze. He had become overly paranoid and he remembered now being irrationally angry at everything and everyone. Right now, in that tub, he felt foolish. He had let his emotions get so out of hand that he had almost killed someone.

He had been pushing aside the issue of his sexuality so much that it had caused a volcano of emotions to erupt into seas of molten lava. And all because of that one night.

His memory of that night was still unclear. He had recalled being with someone in a sexual way; it was evident from the mess. He still didn't remember who or how he had got there. He really didn't. However, he could still recall the smooth but lean arms, delicate fingers that moved with finesse and the silky feel of hair in his hands as they held each other.

The mere recollection of their enthralling passion still made his breath stall.

Yet, there was no face to attach to his memorable night of lust and desire, which simply added to his anger - pushing it over the edge and manifesting itself into physical violence. Malfoy had been a prime target solely because of how bloody blonde and handsome the git was. By night, Harry would have the most lascivious dreams about Malfoy and by day he would seek the boy out for a different kind of interaction. It had gone from shoving and tripping to hexes and psychical brutality. But, Malfoy had not fought back – not even once. He readily accepted the abuse, which only served to fuel Harry's growing frustration. It had escalated to a point where even Ron had grown agitated by his best friend's appalling behaviour. But, that hadn't stopped Harry.

Harry covered his face with his hands, ashamed of his actions.

He had stooped to Dudley's level!

He was disgusted with himself. _What the fuck was I thinking?_ He'd been so stupid, so foolish. He'd taken it all out on Malfoy when it hadn't even been the blonde's fault. In his sudden state of clarity, he realised that he had just caused havoc for two months over nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

If he was to be really honest about the whole issue, he was just mad that the identity of his one night stand remained a secret and that the one person he had managed to figure his sexuality out with had upped and left.

That had cause Malfoy two months of unnecessary hell.

Harry groaned aloud and ignored Myrtle's whining from the edge of the tub.

Harry needed to apologise. That's where he would start. Once he did, he could begin to building himself up again.

* * *

"Miiiiiiiioneeeeeeeeee, I can't find anythinnnnnng,"

Hermione lifted the two open books from the pile on the table and found Ron staring up at her. "Well, you aren't going to if you look through books like _that_," she chastised. Ron huffed at her. "We've been here three hours already. I'm starving...," he moaned. Hermione gave him a look. "You're always starving," she noted grimly before sighing "One more hour, alright?" He grinned at her lopsidedly and got up to put some of the books back. Ron sighed as he hefted the thickest book up onto its rightful shelf. He failed to notice the smaller book tucked behind it and just shoved. The books collided and the larger one fell back towards him.

A hand shot out from beside him, catching the book before it hit him. Ron blinked; surprised he had not been squashed by Anthony Quinesscence's Alphabet Guide to Magical Maladies. He noticed the dark hue to the skin of the hand holding the book and followed the sinewy arm to its owner.

"Honestly Weasley, could you _try _not to destroy the library. Some of us _do_ like it as it is," Zabini's condescending drawl cut through Ron's shock.

Ron spluttered as Zabini stared at him. Then he reached up and adjusted the smaller book before sliding Quinesscence into its place. He then picked the rest of the books from Ron's pile and put them in their respective places. When that was done, he turned to Ron. His eyes narrowed and he moved with precision; getting dangerously close to Ron.

Normally with any other person, this would have been less frightening as most people were shorter than Ron, but Zabini was eye level. The dark skinned boy had a terrifying air around him, what with his mother's know infamy of never having a husband for longer than 5 months. That, accompanied by the look Zabini was giving him right now made his heart thump heavily in his chest. His pulse quickened and the air around him seemed to thin, making it hard to breathe.

"Weasley, what the fuck is wrong with your fucking Golden Boy, because I've had it up to HERE with that attitude of his," He snarled.

Ron gulped, that snarl sent a shiver down his spine and he wasn't sure whether it was from fear or something completely different. He wasn't sure why but Zabini's close proximity was having an odd effect on him. This had never happened before, but then again he'd never been this close to the dark skinned boy before.

"Uh…"

Zabini frowned and then sighed. He leaned back and suddenly Ron could breathe again. "W-we… don't really know what's wrong with Harry," Ron managed to sputter before he collected himself "What's it to you anyway?"

Zabini arched an eyebrow. "We don't make it as public as you three do but Draco is my _friend_. One of my closest. He hasn't slept well in ages and he barely feeds himself at all if we aren't around to watch him. On top of it all, your bloody cunt of a Golden Boy has taken it upon himself to punish Draco for something I'm quite sure Draco hasn't done. He's been taunted, humiliated, beaten and harassed. Draco is already going through hell as it is and your fucking prick of a friend is fucking up things even more. So please, _FIX_ your damn Golden Boy before I misplace. His. Balls." Zabini growled low and dangerous.

Ron stood there, a little shocked by the Slytherin's outburst. Then his face slowly slipped into a smile. Zabini looked at him, a little irked.

"What're you smiling at?"

"So you guys DO care about each other," he said just to annoy the other boy. As expected, Zabini choked a little and coughed before sinking back into his immaculate posture.

"We have no bloody idea what's wrong with Harry. If you want, you could always help us look for what's wrong?" Ron suggested with the smile still plastered on his face. He knew he had the upper hand now and his hands had stopped trembling thanks to Zabini stepping further away. The Slytherin was now standing, shoulders squared to Ron's looking as regal as his house tried to be. Ron looked him up and down. He'd failed to notice how handsome the Slytherin actually was, his calm posture and elegant robes accentuated his smooth, long features. Not to mention the colour of his skin was such a brilliant hue in the lighting of the Library. He looked… _delectable._ Hermione would be proud of Ron for using such a big word even if it was only in his head.

He also failed to realise that in that moment, his thoughts weren't completely straight.

Zabini breathed out heavily and looked at Ron with a face he'd never seen any of the Slytherin's use before. It was sad and tired and it made Ron's heart clench for reasons unknown to him.

"You aren't researching with _HIM_ are you?" Zabini asked. His malice somewhat gone. Ron shook his head. "Fine, if it's just Granger and you then fine," Zabini said hurriedly and turned. Ron cocked his head. "Where're you going?"

"To get you two a few books Granger probably wouldn't have picked up," Zabini said as he turned the corner.

Ron wondered how this strange occurrence of events had happened and followed Zabini.

* * *

Harry stood outside the hospital wing doors.

His heart pounded in his chest as he eased a door open. He was sure he made no sound and slipped through the crack. He looked around the wing and immediately caught sight of Malfoy. The blonde was hunched over Neville's body. Harry's heart stopped.

_What the hell was Malfoy doing?_

Harry's instinct was telling him to jump and stop the blonde but then he caught sight of Malfoy's face in the soft glow of the spell. It was soft and serene. Nothing like the haggard look that had donned the blonde's face since his return to Hogwarts. And then Malfoy smiled. He actually SMILED as Neville moved his arms animatedly. Harry could hear their soft laughter. He was in shock. He'd never seen the blonde smile like that, let alone to a Gryffindor. As he edged closer in an attempt to catch bits of their conversation, he must have made some kind of sound, because all of a sudden Malfoy's head jerked up and looked straight at him.

"Potter," he snarled and instantly his face morphed into one of fury.

Harry froze on the spot and gulped.

* * *

**Tee hee. sorry so long. This one is a bit angsty and I have to write when inspiration strikes. Thank you for still reading.**


	6. Mistakes

**Chapter V**

Neville pushed himself up on the bed. "Harry?" He called out. _How the fuck did he just see me?_ Slowly he straightened and pulled the invisibility cloak off. Neville jumped a little from where he sat. "Blimey Harry, always shocks me when you do that," Neville said. Malfoy hadn't moved from the spot where he stood and his eyes were locked with Harry's in a glare. Those silvery eyes bore holes into Harry's own. For once Harry felt like a child under that gaze but he didn't look away. Neville glanced between the two before sighing.

"Harry, what are you here for? 'Cause if it's to pick on Malfoy again I won't stand for it," Neville said neutrally. He had manoeuvred himself in front of Malfoy. Gone was the shy Neville and in his place was a strong young man Harry had never seen before. Harry was slightly taken aback by Neville's protectiveness. Malfoy was too as he broke eye contact to look at Neville with almost gratefulness. "Really Longbottom, you've done enough for me. I'll owe you for years this way," he said softly. "You already owe me years," Neville shot back at Malfoy playfully. Malfoy scoffed "Don't remind me I owe a Longbottom a life debt,"

Harry stood in awe of the conversation between the two.

Suddenly Malfoy turned his attention back to Harry.

"What is it that you came here for Potter? It couldn't possibly be to simply stand there and gawk," he asked with oddly, no malice.

Harry was at a loss for words. He felt very small standing before a very relaxed Malfoy and protective Neville. He wasn't quite sure what to do. He was prepared for Malfoy's fury but it didn't seem to be coming. He had anticipated it before he had even begun his apology but it never came. Malfoy stood there, obviously uncomfortable with the situation but somewhat grounded by Neville.

Harry didn't know what to do, so he spat it out.

"I came to apologize,"

"For?"

"For everything. For being a prat and being cruel and being absolutely shit to you," Harry said quickly and then added in a softer voice "And for almost killing you both,"

Malfoy's face was unreadable. Neville was impassive as well, albeit a bit surprised. Both were silent. Harry took it as a cue to go on.

"I've been insufferable (Malfoy snorted disbelievingly). I turned into something I've always hated and done horrible things to you Malfoy and I'm so very sorry. You have been nothing but civil since the year started. I can't imagine the horror I've put you through and for something that's had absolutely nothing to do with you,"

The moment Harry uttered his last words; Malfoy's face became paler than its normal white. Neville looked worried.

"What…What are you talking about?" Malfoy managed to get out. Harry gave him a funny look.

"I mean… I've been taking out my anger on you for something that hasn't got anything to do with you. I guess…. I've just been having issues… with…. myself and I just let everything get so muddled up and I reacted badly. I know that's no excuse for my behaviour but I can at least hope that you'll accept my apology," Harry spoke with words so articulate he thought even Malfoy would be proud of him.

Malfoy just got paler, if that was even possible.

"What could possibly have caused you such anger that it was deemed worthy to take out on me?" Malfoy asked so impassively Harry thought he was speaking to a statue.

"Well," he looked at Neville and then back at Malfoy "I… please don't tell anyone about this, I've only just come to this realization and I do owe you an explanation,"

"I have been questioning my sexuality and may have accidently slept with a boy," He said very quickly.

Malfoy turned green. The conversation had gone south very fast. Neville was sputtering and looking absolutely confused. "Oh wow, Harry way to spring that on us. Uh well, good for you?"

"You don't- oh Merlin you-" Malfoy seemed at a loss for words and he looked about ready to throw up.

Harry was getting a bit agitated by his behaviour. He wondered if maybe Malfoy was reacting badly to his homosexuality. "Malfoy do you have a problem with me being… bent?" That caught Malfoy's attention and the blonde stood rod straight. "If you do, I have no problem but I'd appreciate not to be put down. It was difficult enough to come to terms with this all," Harry said softly.

"GET. OUT."

Harry felt a tremor through his body. Malfoy had his fists clenched by his sides, his face having gone red somewhere in the time that Harry had begun talking and he practically radiated anger.

"Wha-

"Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. Here," this time, instead of anger there was great pain in his words. A tear found its way down Malfoy's cheek and Harry found it made his heart clench and stop. He was hurting him. Even if he didn't know why, he didn't like that.

Without another word he picked up his cloak and fled.

Maybe he should've looked for Ron and Hermione first.

* * *

"Malfoy?"

Draco opened his eyes to find Longbottom staring at him. He knew there were tears streaming down his face but he didn't care for once, his father wasn't even around to wallop him. _Malfoy's don't show weakness. Yeah well, Malfoy's aren't supposed to get impregnated by Half-bloods either. _Draco flopped back onto his bed and pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes.

_Difficult enough._

_Problem. _

Draco choked on a sob as it wracked his entire body. He hated Potter with every inch of his being right there and then. He hated his stupidity, he hated the way he did everything so nobly and yet knew nothing, and he hated everything so much. It all hurt, his heart, his mind, his soul. He just couldn't take this. His head was pounding and his body was shaking. He barely registered Neville's cry as he doubled over and blood spilt from his mouth.

Then everything faded to black.

* * *

Harry reached the Library feeling rather distraught. He didn't know what he had done but he knew he had inexplicably made things worse. He needed his friends, badly. He weaved through the library looking for their usual spot and found them there - stacks of books piled around them. He stopped short when he noticed Blaise Zabini with them. Today was getting exceedingly weirder. Zabini seemed to be quarrelling with Hermione over something or other and Ron was asleep next to Zabini.

Zabini noticed him first and just like Malfoy's expression had done earlier his face darkened. Noticing Zabini's gaze deviate from herself, Hermione turned.

"Harry?" she called suspiciously, but then she noticed his expression and stood. She walked over to him "What's wrong?" she asked.

That was all it took and Harry was a mess. "I don't know. I don't know. Oh Merlin, Mione I don't know what to do. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't even know how to... What is _wrong _with me?" he babbled. Hermione took him into her arms.

"Shhh, it's okay. It's going to be okay. Just calm down and tell us what happened," she said soothingly.

She ushered Harry into a chair and gave Zabini a glance that spoke volumes, the Slytherin remained silent and nudged Ron awake.

"I just, I don't, I didn't mean to do any of it. There must be something wrong with me, I'm going insane. I just… today made me realize, my whole attitude's been ridiculous. I've been such an ASS! I've just been mad at everything, without good reason and I took it all out on Malfoy. I just… I'm so lost," He continued to babble. The three of them watched him intently.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I can't even believe half the things I've done. It's like I've been walking through an angry haze and I've just realized how much of a git I've been to everyone and I'm so. Fucking. Sorry…"

"Tell that to Draco," Zabini's soft voice was loud enough that all three of them heard him. His eyes dared Harry to argue with him and his posture radiated anger. It made Harry feel worse.

"I did,"

That caught everyone's attention. "You did what?!" all three of them exclaimed.

"It didn't go well. I tried, I really did, but apparently I fail at apologizing. I'm failing at a lot of things. Like memory. I told him - them, Neville was there too, about that night," He told them running a hand through his messy hair.

Hermione and Ron gaped. "You what?"

"What did you say to him, Potter?" Zabini had risen from his chair.

"I can't say exactly," Harry replied glumly. Zabini huffed and grabbed a few books. "I'll go see how much damage has been done," he hissed "Weasley, Granger." He nodded and strode off.

"You told Malfoy you've been pissed off all this time because you slept with a BOY?!" Ron whispered furiously. Harry nodded "Well, I know now, honestly, that I wasn't really mad about it being _wrong_ or anything. That was just conditioning from Uncle Vernon. I was probably just mad the moment I found that the someone I had spent an amazing night with had just left without a word and I haven't been able to find him."

Hermione looked contemplative. Then she raised her hand and slapped him.

Ron's eyes bulged out of their sockets.

"Continue," she said unwaveringly.

Harry flexed his jaw, slightly shocked. But he continued explaining his failed apology.

"So you're saying Malfoy behaved… _oddly_ after you mentioned the _incident_?"

Harry nodded.

"I have an idea how you can apologize to Malfoy, but you'd better hope Zabini's managed to salvage what he can from the wreck you've created." Hermione said.

Harry nodded again.

As soon as he stood, Ron pulled him into a tight hug. "It's alright mate. You're a right git but you still have us," he said quietly.

Harry had never been more grateful for his friends.

* * *

**_Yeaaaah bit of a dramatic flair to this one. :D tee hee. I hope you enjoy. New one when i can get my beta. _**

**_To all those who reviewed. I love you guys so much. You make my day and keep me writing. Thank you so much. :')_**


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